The Illimitable Ocean of Inexplicability

Colonel Paul Tibbets and Crew

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If you’re going to San Fransisco

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urine

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Box of Drawin’s (Pronounced: ‘Boksadrons’)

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When the strong box contains no more both friends and flatterers shun the door.

– Plutarch

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boksadrons

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I have no idea who this, ‘Plutarch’, is, but, I can tell you he’s no Daniel (pronounced: Dan’l) Boone.

Daniel Boone was a man,
Yes, a big man!
And he fought for America
To make all Americans free!
What a Boone, what a do-er,
What a dream come-er true-er was he!

And, as anyone with a lick of sense could see, there aren’t too may like that around, not in this day and age. Definitely none with the name ‘Plutarch’. Lawd sakes I bet that kid got a whoopin’ daily on some rock strewn Greek playground, and (furthermore), truth be told (because why bother otherwise), he probably had it coming. I mean, anyone who goes around belly aching about no one coming for a visit when the strongbox is empty would no doubt not be above begging for a ‘fist sandwich’.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even mention this low life scum except there wasn’t a decent box quote to be found anywhere within the vastness of cyberspace. There were a few about Pandora’s Box that I thought might kick ass, unfortunately they more like sucked ass if you know what I’m saying, and, actually, even if you don’t. Because something’s tendency to suck ass has absolutely nothing to do with your ability to understand it or even know it exists for that matter. It’s just part of God’s plan. Some things ( He decided (for whatever reason)) are meant to suck ass (forever and ever amen).

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Find out why The President and Founder is correct in thinking you are a sissy if you do not own a BB Gun

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“Without question, the Red Ryder BB gun is the most important gun in the history of American weaponry.”

– Ted Nugent

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IMG_4302The President and Founder’s very own Red Ryder BB Gun

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“Most important”

That’s what Mr. Nugent said, and who could argue it? Sure, there are some of you out there who might argue that not owning a BB Gun doesn’t mean you’re a sissy, but you can’t argue that the Red Ryder isn’t the “most important”. I mean, you could argue it, but, if you did, if you actually wanted to argue it regardless of whether or not you own a BB Gun, you are the very definition of sissy¹.

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¹ Speaking of ‘sissy’, when I was a kid we had a class in school called ‘music appreciation’ wherein on every Friday the kids were allowed to bring in an album and play one song of their choice for appreciating. It was the first and last time (until moments ago) that I heard this song from Mr. Nugent called ‘Hibernation

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there will be (it’s guaranteed) weeping and gnashing of teeth

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For many are called, but few are chosen.

– Matthew 12:14

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When I, The President and Founder, (on an almost regular occasion) resort to using scripture in my posts I always (and without fail) am reminded of that “Bard of Avon”, Mr. William Shakespeare, who wrote (along with a great deal many other words) the following:

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“The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
An evil soul producing holy witness
Is like a villain with a smiling cheek,
A goodly apple rotten at the heart.
O, what a goodly outside falsehood hath!”

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Then (as has always been, and, most likely, will continue to be in the future), immediately upon having this thought, I am both embarrassed ( at the very idea of considering my use of scripture on this web site (as amazing as it may be) to be as malevolent of purpose as no doubt The Dark Lord’s are), and afraid (at the (very) idea that, through the inscrutable plans of the all powerful, I am but a pawn meant to carry out some objective (unknown to me) in the great battle between evil and good only to be in the end(?)1 completely separated from The Almighty for eternity for doing as he (The whole time) knew I would do).
That said, and gladly admitted to at any time and in front of anyone, I still persist (as is obvious for all to see here) in my defiance of the King who would(in anger), from his throne (one would assume), instruct his servants (a wholly unsavory lot, truth be told) to have me bound hand and foot and then tossed into what is known in those parts as ‘the outer darkness’.2

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1 The end is uncertain only for the reason (I suspect) that it does not exist, or, if it does exist, it would be unrecognizable (until it was too late) to anyone with the misfortune of stumbling upon it.
2 I have (from time to time) (maybe even out loud to others while driving through the high desert of Arizona in search of ancient Native rock circles where one of the other passengers (most likely the one capable of grating upon nerves) is hoping to have some personal revelation from the spirit world) wondered if the passage to ‘the outer darkness’ in the King’s castle was, like what I remember from my Grandparent’s high rise apartment, a garbage chute of sorts wherein, instead of household trash, the garbage souls, and just generally undesirable, could be thrown into and immediately made somebody else’s problem.

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The Powers that be won’t let us celebrate the year of The Varmint Trap

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New ideas pass through three periods: 1) It can’t be done. 2) It probably can be done, but it’s not worth doing. 3) I knew it was a good idea all along!

– Arthur C. Clarke

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Oh, Arthur. Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, what have I told you about misleading the folks?

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“Hell’s Bells, man”!

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The bells of hell go ting-a-ling-a-ling,
For you but not for me,
And the little devils how they sing-a-ling-a-ling,
For you but not for me.
Oh death, where is thy sting-a-ling-a-ling,
Oh grave, thy victory?
The bells of hell go ting-a-ling-a-ling
For you but not for me.

 

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“Hell’s Bells”

I exclaimed, followed quickly with, “man”, in reference to myself who was the only one there, which is, if one is familiar with the rules of this place, not at all surprising.

Why this should be I have asked myself, quietly, of course, for though no one else may be apparent there is always just outside the door, or below the window, but I cannot be bothered to look, so whispering is only prudent.

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“Social media is called social media for a reason. It lends itself to sharing rather than horn-tooting.”*

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.*Margaret Atwood

The President and Founder’s Assistant Snaps Pic of The Evil One’s Automobile!

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Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

Revelation 13:18

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beast

The Beast has a personal parking space, and he’s driving a gas guzzler!

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Ladies and Gentlemen: The Mighty Dragon of Uragudrar* is no more

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There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths.

– Bertrand Russell

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babeArtist’s conception of Baby vanquishing The Mighty Dragon of Uragudrar

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Then ‘feeble’ I am and always shall be, Mr. Russell, if that be the handicap I must endure for believing the great hero, ‘Jack’, did destroy that cursed Dragon of Uragudrar. Happy shall I go along in the face of life’s perils when I can at will look upon the depiction above and with complete confidence say to myself and to those I love,

THE MIGHTY DRAGON OF URAGUDRAR IS NO MORE!

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* Pronounced: ‘Yer-uh-good-drawr’

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