The Illimitable Ocean of Inexplicability

Month: June, 2015

They said this mystery never shall cease

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“Every thing possible to be believed is an image of truth”

– William Blake

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getsaFrom this, without doubt, sprang the fable. Man created it thus, because it was not given him to see more than himself and nature, which surrounds him; but he created it true with a truth all its own.
– Alfred de Vigny

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“Whoda believed it”?

That is what I have said more times than one could count upon the fingers of the floating head’s new body’s hands. Is that clear enough for you? I hope so because I have no intention of repeating it. Why should I?

Bzzzt!

Time’s up, you didn’t answer quickly enough. The answer you couldn’t quite give is, “There’s no good reason”. I have a feeling you knew this, but, were afraid to utter the words aloud. Frightened like a child who thinks it some incantation that if they speak it a horrible curse shall descend from out of the fathomless reaches of space and time destroying all they ever have or ever will know.  Perhaps sadly, this will not be the result. So, go ahead. It’s no big deal. Say it. Out loud. Right now. “There’s no good reason”. Again. “There’s no good reason”. AGAIN! “There’s no good reason” LOUDER! “THERE’S NO GOOD REASON”!

Okay, okay, take it easy, partner. Feel better now? Got it all out of your system? Good, now go on with whatever it is you’ve cooked up to pass the time away.

until we meet again

your pal,

The President and Founder

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Although William Blake has been described as “a man not forestalled by predecessors, nor to be classed with contemporaries, nor to be replaced by known or readily surmisable successors”, and even though many young people in universities all over the western world think he’s “super keen” my inclusion of his words in the title and body of this post should not be taken as anything other than my quoting “the Poets when it makes for my purpose.”

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Is that a threat?

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“I’ve had threats”

– Stevie Wonder

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unext copy

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Well, is it a threat?

I sure hope not.I don’t enjoy being threatened. However, whether I do or do not take any delight in receiving threats has not ever made any difference in times past when some usually not so kind individuals have said to me, “You’re going to pay” or “You better watch your back” and even, once or twice, the always ominous, “You’re next”. This sort of behavior is, of course, unacceptable in a truly civilized society and should never be tolerated. However, as we do not live in now nor will we ever live in a “truly civilized society” I will tell you the following so as you do not have to learn a most difficult lesson later. Do not ever, under any circumstance, respond to the statements I mentioned above, or to any statement that can be taken as “an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done”¹ with, “Is that a threat?”, for, if you do, I cannot guarantee that you won’t, but can pretty much guarantee that you will, be on the receiving end of a most horrendous beating.

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your pal,

The President and Founder

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¹ This is a definition of ‘threat’ that I got off the internet somewhere but can’t be bothered to properly note from where exactly and as we are now in or at least entering into the 6th mass extinction I no longer “give a fig” for the niceties of proper citation and have no fear of accusations of plagiarism from members of a dying species. So there!²

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..² And, no, this isn’t a threat

IT’S A PROMISE!

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Listen Mister, can’t you see? (episode one)

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“The art of letters will come to an end before A.D. 2000. I shall survive as a curiosity.”

– Ezra Pound

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Well, Ezra, I hate to burst your bubble, old chum, but, you were only half right. The “art of letters”, as you call it, is alive and well thanks to none other than yours truly. Of course, you had no way of knowing this back in those days long ago when, for whatever absinthe soaked reason you may have come up with as an excuse, you spewed out these words that are now too easily found by those innocent of mind unaware as they are of the dangers lurking on the various sites that litter the world wide web featuring quotes from curiosities such as yourself.

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LaterEzraPound

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“Society just isn’t ready for this”

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“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, So what. That’s one of my favorite things to say. So what.

– Andy Warhol

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IMG_3971

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“Poppycock”!

That was my response when my trusted assistant, and dear friend, said to me, “Society just isn’t ready for this”. That was, word for word, what my assistant said to me when I quite excitedly showed her plans for my post from 6/25/2015 titled “Portraits of the dishes after they’ve been washed“. You may now ask yourself, as I did then ask my assistant, “What’s the biggie about some snaps of clean dishes”?. “Well”, my assistant explained, “nothing except for the fact that you, The President and Founder, a red blooded man, washed the dishes yourself”. Yes, I know, to some of you, like myself and my closest compatriots, enlightened and progressive as we are, the idea of a man washing the dishes seems perfectly acceptable, but, I tell you truly this, that to many out there, who you see daily and somehow know, on an instinctual level, better than to associate yourself with, the mere thought of a man bent over a sink scrubbing away at dirty dishes is a wretched and cursed thing best run off from proper society to live out its days alone and scared in a shallow burrow of its own making.

This inability of society to accept the new and different, sadly, is not unusual. Why it is, I often wonder, that the ranks of professional dish washers can be almost exclusively male and no one bats an eye, however, if a man not only washes the dishes at home, but also relishes the opportunity and treats it as a ritual of supreme importance he is the subject of ridicule and mockery? It no doubt has been with us all since those days red in tooth and claw when the only thing required of men to clean was another man’s clock or the carcass of some large beast he had, with bare hands or ingenious implement, brought down with great violence in order to feed his tribe. Or, perhaps it is a curse visited upon our common ancient father by The Great Maker for some horrible transgression, and as this criminal’s descendants we are still being punished all these years later with the utter madness of being unable to accept anything that is not the ways long ago established.  I am, of course, only guessing. The answer is better left to those who wallow around in those ancient days, and not to one such as myself always looking toward a brighter future I pray may be ahead.

However, no matter the reasons given, or the excuses provided for behavior most definitely not worthy of acceptance I say enough is a enough. More than enough actually. Too much, in fact. That’s it. I will no longer hide nor cower from society’s attempt to control those who are different, nor will I submit meekly to their constant shaming of those who follow another path they cannot or will not understand. No, I tell you now, I will no longer do it.

I AM A DISH WASHER!

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Portraits of the dishes after they’ve been washed

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Even the mundane task of washing dishes by hand is an example of the small tasks and personal activities that once filled people’s daily lives with a sense of achievement.
– B.F. Skinner

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If you’re a dish washer, like I am, Burrhus isn’t telling you anything you don’t know already. If you aren’t then you probably think I’m talking about sticking the dishes inside one of those infernal contraptions and pressing a button. No, that’s not, by any stretch of the imagination, washing the dishes. I’m talking about the kind of dish washing where you painstakingly scrub, conscientiously wipe, and even, when needed, gently massage each and every dish by hand until not only is it sanitary for personal use it is also dazzling to the eye. And then, and only when, upon assuring that each dish is free of stain and all cutlery, as well as glasses and mugs are without spot, you allow the dishes to air dry for 3 to 5 hours just as God intended. How do I know this you may ask. Well, not only have I worked professionally as a dish washer, but I have also (at great, but well worth it, personal expense) had my Private Residence fitted with a restaurant grade sink for the purpose of keeping my skills sharp should I ever (God forbid) need to return to the work force.

The images that follow are a documentation of the dishes washed by me by hand over a 14 day period spanning from the 9th of June to the 22nd of June 2015. Please, feel free to admire my work.

The President and Founder

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DISHPICP
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16/9/2015  8:55 am
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26/10/2015  7:48 am
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36/11/2015  7:53 am
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46/12/2015  9:00 am
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56/13/2015 7:55 am
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66/14/2015 8:17 am
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76/15/2015 8:16 am
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86/16/2015 8:05 am
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96/17/2015 10:09 am
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106/18/2015 7:47 am
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116/19/2015 8:10 am
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126/20/2015 7:33 am
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136/21/2015 7:53 am
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146/ 22/ 2015 7:42 am
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Ladies and Gentlemen it’s time now for the all new, “The Devil made him do it” with your host the one and only, The President and Founder

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“When the Devil chuckled: “Is it Art?” in the ear of the branded Cain.”

– Rudyard Kipling

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“Sonofabitch”! There would be no surprise at the use of this exclamation nor shock at its vulgarity from the small crowd that was gathered. In fact, two of those (that we know of) then there, later, in private would discuss the exclamation at length and with admiration both agreeing its use more than justified.

I, on the other hand, would at my leisure spend various moments in contemplation of its affect and, at times, foolishly mention my thoughts on it to others during long car rides. Once reminded of the inappropriateness of this I would turn to look out the window into a field in which was an older woman sitting on a white plastic chair dangerously close (it seemed to me) to a large fire of burning yard debris. “The Devil” I would say to myself, “The Father of Lies”, I would whisper under my breath, “Perhaps” I would offer as an answer while the woman and her fire passed out of sight.¹

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newheadThe second in a series of illustrations

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¹This (like a great many things) is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner (and therefore should not result in you either contacting your Congressman or taking to the streets). Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental (So, if you chose to spend your time in theorizing about the whys and wherefores just keep this in mind and don’t feel the need to hurt people or damage property in reaction to others theorizing).

Thank you for your invaluable time,

The President and Founder

The Institute

for the Study of

Slightly Varying Circumstances

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Experts are Baffled

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No need to be alarmed

Sometimes they are. Baffled, that is. The experts. I understand the distress it can cause, but it’s exciting as well. Kind of fun really. Experts being baffled. Perfect opportunity to point and laugh and say. “Look at the know it all, guess you don’t really know it all, do you?”. I’m telling you, if the opportunity presents itself, try it, it feels really good.

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newhead

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Not always

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smell1

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If you want to sing out, sing out*

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Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Steven Victor Tallarico, Steven Tyler

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Of course there’s nothing saying you have to. There’s no requirement, I mean, that you sing with me, or anyone else for that matter, or even to yourself within the confines of your own home. And, perhaps that’s why we find ourselves in this pickle we’re in. Maybe it’s why, at least part of the reason why, the whole shooting match is headed down the shitter. Maybe we still have time to salvage some of it. Maybe, and I say, ‘Maybe’ if there was a law, or laws that required every individual to sing that could be easily enforceable, not just by cops, but by anyone in the community with ears to hear then there would be a slight possibility that we could turn all this around and save humanity. Ah, but who am I kidding, right? I know many of you are too embarrassed to sing, claim you can’t sing, some even saying, “I hate singing”. Well, that’s just dandy. Don’t sing if you’d rather not. In fact, don’t even fucking hum. Just keep your mouth shut tight while it all falls around our ears.

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allnightlong

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*Yes, that’s right this is the title to a song by Cat ‘freakin” Stevens! What of it?

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No free man shall be taken or imprisoned, or dispossessed or outlawed or exiled or in any way ruined, nor will we go or send against him except by the lawful judgement of his peers or by the law of the land.

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I know, I know, it’s hip to poo poo Western Civilization now. I see you all madly typing away about its horrors every chance you get. Well, that’s your right, but, even so, maybe for a moment give a thought to those rebel Barons and King John at Runnymede near Windsor on the 15th of June 1215.

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MagnaCharta5

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