The Illimitable Ocean of Inexplicability

Month: March, 2015

I don’t think you’ve ever really tried

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The Cause

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sparkin

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For a period of several months after the aforementioned event acquaintances would greet me with,”What’s up, Sparky”?, or, “Well, well if it isn’t are old friend, the Sparkinator”!, and even sometimes, “Bonjour, Monsieur Sparkarally”.

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© 2015 The Institute for the Study of Slightly Varying Circumstances All rights reserved

Except as provided by the Copyright Act 1994, no part of this publication may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the copyright owner

 

It’s just an idea I had, a sketch, you don’t have to like it. I’m just trying (the best I can) to make my way in the world today, and, as anyone with a lick of sense knows, that can, and often does, take everything you got, and furthermore, if you’re like most folks, which (I hate to be the one to break it to you, but) you are, you know that to take some time from all your troubles sure would help a lot

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ATTENTION:

In the following post I kind of take you to task for your addictions to all the things THE MAN offers, but, please, rest assured that my admonitions come from a place of love

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I know how it is, I’ve been there. Like Oprah once said, “I did your drug”, but the thing is, I gave it up, while you, well, you’ve descended into a dark well of dependence best described, I think, by the late troubadour, Lou Reed all those years ago:

I’m waiting for my man
Twenty-six dollars in my hand
Up to Lexington, 125
Feel sick and dirty, more dead than alive
I’m waiting for my man

Yes, that’s right, ‘my man’ is your man, also known (to those who know anything) as, ‘THE MAN’, and you’re waiting for him. Day in and day out, just waiting for THE MAN, while I, as you can see in the sketch above, grow delicious natural foods to strengthen my body.

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Things they didn’t tell you in school

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baby

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I don’t know about you

but

when I was a kid

and someone

laid something like that

on you

the appropriate response was always

“Whoa, heavy”

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My apologies for the following legal mumbo jumbo, but there’s some real sonsabitches out there (as if you didn’t have first hand knowledge of this. I mean, come on).

© 2015 The Institute for the Study of Slightly Varying Circumstances All rights reserved

Except as provided by the Copyright Act 1994, no part of this publication may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the copyright owner

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Hate to be the one to tell you this, but…

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man

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Oh, yeah

and another thing

when myself

and that rag-tag group of rebels

kick THE MAN’S ass

you’ll be kind of broke up about it

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It nearly happened to me

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IMG_3430

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For those of you like me

this will bring back terrifying memories

For those of you who are not like me

YOU WERE BRAINWASHED!

 

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The way of the gardener

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IMG_3303

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The time once more approaches

when to my will the earth will bend

enslaved to fill my belly

with wonderfully fresh vegetables

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“There’s no “censorship” here.” A Stunning Victory for The All New Moral Majority Ladies Auxiliary

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The art that upsets

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“My intention was never to hurt or upset anyone through my art. For that reason, I have recommended to DC that the variant cover be pulled. I’m incredibly pleased that DC Comics is listening to my concerns and will not be publishing the cover art in June as previously announced.”

– Rafael Albuquerque

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“threats of violence and harassment are wrong and have no place in comics or society.”

– DC Comics

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to protect their delicate sensibilities

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She Couldn’t Understand My Love Of The Dixon Ticonderoga HB #2 Pencil Until I Explained It To Her With The Aid Of Profanity

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What follows is an actual description about my feelings (expressed to an acquaintance who happens to be female) regarding a pencil and as such it is both raw and real which are two things many of you honestly cannot deal with and so should go hide away from real life somewhere instead of going any further.

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a

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Shit

It’s the (motherfuckin’) world’s best

HB #2

Dixon Ticonderoga

Bitch

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Oh, have you now?

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nonsense

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“Ha”, I laughed briefly having business to attend to, but feeling it necessary to make at least some small effort to, as the dictionary defines it, “make the spontaneous sounds and movements of the face and body that are the instinctive expressions of lively amusement and sometimes also of contempt or derision”. In this instance my effort to produce a ‘spontaneous sound’ did not coincide with any ‘movements of the face and body’ as I hoped most would understand through my describing of that sound as ‘ha’ instead of as ‘ha, ha, ha’, ‘he,he,he’ or even ‘ha, ha, he, he’, all of which, in my mind, bring forth images of uncontrolled movements of the laughing person’s body which, often times, they attempt to hold back by grasping their abdomen as well as, in many cases, at the same time, leaning forward as if trying to wrestle their ‘lively amusement’ to the ground.

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