Sunday Epic Sunday

by illimitableoceanofinexplicability

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fails1

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I watch Epic Fails on Sunday

because I don’t have time on Monday

even though it’s not my have to run day

or in the least bit manic in any way

for the most part

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I’ll be the first to admit that’s terrible, awful really. It’s so bad in fact that I winced when reading it aloud. I did. It was like someone had poked me with a sharp stick, and then every time after that when I attempted to read it my body tensed up in memory of the original feeling. If you know what I mean. It’s as if some ‘force’ outside of myself, or maybe, if inside already, laying dormant since some primordial epoch when our ancestors first arose to take their place as the dominant species of this planet, sprung into action like a sleeping Lion pouncing upon its prey. Except there was no prey, or actual poking for that matter. I was, quite mysteriously, flinching away from a poking I never actually received. But, I ask you, who hasn’t? I think, no, I believe that if you, reading this now, were to take an honest look back on any of a vast number of incidents from your life that you have, at great cost to the condition of your soul, attempted to obscure in or rid from your mind there would be a handful at least that could be related to the situation I found myself in just this morning. It may very well be the thing, or a very important part of the overall thing that makes us, as they used to say when I was a kid, “uniquely human”.

That was a long time ago though, when I was a kid. That is, so long ago that there was no way, and, as far as I knew, no way anyone dared dream of to spend a Sunday watching the Epic Fails of strangers. No, if you wanted Epic Fails you had to make them yourself. I personally spent many a Sunday, ‘by hook or by crook’ (as I would say, deeply influenced as I was by a quote¹ from Ms. Virginia Woolf I came across in a discarded Playboy magazine I found in an alley), convincing other kids in the neighborhood to take actions of various sorts which I felt most likely to end in a life threateningly humorous way.

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¹ “By hook or by crook, I hope that you will possess yourselves of money enough to travel and to idle, to contemplate the future or the past of the world, to dream over books and loiter at street corners and let the line of thought dip deep into the stream”

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