I don’t mean to freak you out, but…

by illimitableoceanofinexplicability

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This will be my final mention of the mysterious and frightening new year that is ahead of us all!

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Oh, no, no, no, no, no

You know the story. You’re sitting in the front room watching the T.V. just kicking back, relaxing, maybe enjoying a snack or a drink, possibly an alcoholic drink (if you’re old enough of course) when in through the door comes a friend or maybe your best girl, and, without fail the first thing out of their mouth isn’t a “Howdy-do” or even a “What’s up, brother man”, no, it’s

“I don’t mean to freak you out, but…”

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“Cheese and crackers”! That’s what I say. And, who could blame me? Sure, there are some of you, maybe a lot, in this day and age, who would respond with a profanity, and then there’s some, more than people in this society are willing to admit, who would respond violently. I mean, respond with the kind of whoopin’ that can only be called one thing, and that is ‘A serious ass kicking’. That’s right, even I, not one to throw bad words around like punctuation marks, has no choice but to call it what it is. Am I sorry for the profanity? A little. Am I sorry for having to hand out ‘a serious ass kicking’ to someone dumb enough to walk through my door with their lips a flapping out the most horrible string of words one can imagine? No. not at all. It has to be done. I have a responsibility, not only to myself, but to anyone who’d dare say such a thing to me. I owe them nothing less than a text book serious ass kicking. End of story.

Anyway, I don’t mean to freak you out, but take a gander at this image below. Go on, really have a good long look. Read the words silently to yourself as you stare down that long rickety wooden path heading off into God knows what, surrounded on both sides by darkness, probably slippery as hell from who can even guess, and know you can make it, not, ‘you’re going to make it’, no one can know what the future holds, sorry, but ‘you can make it’. That is, you have enough of the abilities required to make it through this year. At least the bare minimum, at least, or so I’d think. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong. Wouldn’t be the first time.

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2015

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