“Something has to be done” (Let me help)

by illimitableoceanofinexplicability

.

.

If you’re like me and enjoy leaving comments on a wide variety of news stories, but have been disappointed with the number of ‘likes’ or ‘thumbs up’ you receive for the incisive, and often witty commentary you provide then you’ll want to pay close attention to this.

.

For weeks I struggled, spending sometimes up to 8 hours a day reading articles and commenting on them all the while receiving very few ‘likes’ and almost no replies. Then, in a fit of desperation, infuriated over some injustice I was reading about that I now can no longer exactly remember, and ready to just give it all up, I violently pecked out

“SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE!”

and, to my surprise, almost immediately my inbox fill up with more ‘likes’ than I had seen in weeks. I was flabbergasted, but, due to my very well educated and skeptical mind I put this result off to being simply a fluke. But, then, believing experimentation would, if conducted in a scientific manner, prove once and for all whether the veritable cascade of ‘likes’ I received was perhaps due only to some unknown circumstances, or whether these few words, in all manner of situations, could bring upon its user more ‘likes’ than they’d have ever dare dream they’d receive.

Well, I can tell you, after many sleepless nights, and arduous days of typing “Something has to be done!” over and over again until my fingers were blistered and bleeding, it works, it really works, like gangbusters, that’s right, you read that right, LIKE GANGBUSTERS.

So, that’s it. There’s no longer any excuse for a low ‘thumbs up’ count, no reason for embarrassment when asked by a potential intimate partner about the amount of ‘likes’ you regularly receive, no, no, no, those days are over, my friends, those days are long over.

,

,

,

,

,

,

,

Advertisements