The Illimitable Ocean of Inexplicability

Month: October, 2014

Passing by the Lift

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The two super fun reasons why your existence is problematic

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1. Things you have done

2. Things you have not done

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For a length of time best understood as “too long” I was pursued by something for which the above is a representation

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Could you imagine? I mean, really? It would be funny if it weren’t so serious when you think about it. It worries me, to be honest. What about you? I’m just curious. You could feel different of course. There may be a few “areas of disagreement” between us, some things we don’t see “eye to eye” on, but, when all is “said and done” we’d work it out somehow.

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Title page

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The title page is one of the most important parts of the “front matter” or “preliminaries” of a book, as the data on it and its verso (together known as the “title leaf”) are used to establish the “title proper and usually, though not necessarily, the statement of responsibility and the data relating to publication”. This determines the way the book is cited in library catalogs and academic references.

from ‘Title page’, Wikipedia (the free encyclopedia)

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I started on this yesterday at about noon.

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I never tire of reminding myself just how wrong you were

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“What you did was wrong. You know that”

– The President and Founder

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Ha, ha. You see right through it I’m sure. It would take more than that to get you to join an organization that is the only one making any headway against the problems we all face. That’s cool though. I’m sure what you’re doing is much more important than what The Society of the Box and Ladder is offering at no cost. Go on then, go join, you know you love joining, so, do it, join your new friends in The Varmint Trap, I’m sure they’ll have all the answers.

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Depicting both volume and attitude

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“According to the dictionary, which I have found to be a reliable source for the definitions of words, a varmint can be “a despicable, obnoxious, or annoying person”

– The President and Founder

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Honestly, I have not seen hide nor hair of a varmint in these parts for going on three months now. That doesn’t mean they aren’t out there, no, far from it. With Fall settling in, and Winter a comin’ round the corner the varmints start to slink about all secret like under cover of darkness and behind those banks of fog rolling in from the sea. So, I advise you not to go wandering willy-nilly in the night hours after the sun has gone down, it just isn’t safe.

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Don’t even think for one minute

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“I pleaded with the varmint to come out of its den and behave reasonably”

-from ‘The Varmint Trap’

by The President and Founder

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Could we? I guess what I mean to ask is, should we? Many have discussed this with few on either side convinced while here and there some have changed sides the most notable being unexpected and so vehement about their recent conversion as to be regarded by a majority of those left with any sense as being part of what is generally referred to as “the militant fringe”.

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Reconsidering The Varmint Trap

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“It is written. My house is to be called The Institute, but you are making it a den of varmints”

– The President and Founder

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Marked by symptoms

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“Did you know that Halloween, or ‘All Hallows’ Eve’ is simply the first day in the observance of the triduum known as ‘Allhallowtide’, it’s true, I’m not kidding””

– The President and Founder

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Marked by symptoms

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Just last night (or thereabouts), as I wandered the quiet town (the night air chilling me to the bone), I came across a place (I dare not tell you its location) that was, to put it plainly, creepy. If, for some reason, you are not familiar with the word “creepy” I tell you now that it is something, or in this case, some place, that causes uneasiness or fear which is exactly what this place I came across (quite accidentally) caused in me. Perhaps knowing that old story of the uncivilized fearing that a photograph taken of themselves would steal their soul caused me, for purposes of battling my fear, to compose and then capture the image of this horrible place from where I made my escape soon after the clicking of the shutter. Later, upon inspection of the photograph (at length in the dark and quiet hours of the morning) I noticed that within the creepy picture were six distinctly creepy parts. As this revelation came to me my mind traveled back to the scene of the night before, and I remembered (to my horror) that as I hurried away from the accursed place a voice not unlike my own, but deeper, kind of demon like sounding, and echoed by what could only be described as the voices of taunting school children on a playground, followed me repeating over and over again,

SIX SEPARATE CREEPY PARTS OF A CREEPY PICTURE ©
SIX SEPARATE CREEPY PARTS OF A CREEPY PICTURE ©
SIX SEPARATE CREEPY PARTS OF A CREEPY PICTURE ©
SIX SEPARATE CREEPY PARTS OF A CREEPY PICTURE ©
SIX SEPARATE CREEPY PARTS OF A CREEPY PICTURE ©
SIX SEPARATE CREEPY PARTS OF A CREEPY PICTURE ©

As you probably noticed the phrase “Six separate creepy parts of a creepy picture ©” is followed by a copyright symbol. The reason for this is that I may or may not in the future use this phrase again, and as it was a voice not dissimilar to my own that maddeningly repeated it I feel that it rightly belongs to me for my exclusive use, and furthermore, if it was not me that maniacally spoke those words in a singsong manner, and instead was some kind of supernatural being or creature from another dimension then I (though I have no training in the law) believe it would be highly unlikely that any court would listen to its argument, but, as you may have already thought to yourself, what good this protection under the laws of man when my eternal soul is at risk? I pray never to find out.

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A handful of likes

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“I will show you fear in a handful of likes”

– The President and Founder

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For a while now, I’m not sure exactly how long, maybe a couple months, I have been posting drawings that are part of a project that has been called ‘The Box and The Ladder’ even though I raised concerns regarding this title, and as the creator of the drawings felt I had more than ‘some say’ in what people should think of it, or refer to it as, however, I have since learned that I was mistaken.

Anyway

So, I was thinking about the more than a few  ‘likes’ I have received for drawings of ‘The Box and The Ladder’ (see above paragraph wherein I gently complain about this title), and how, besides receiving the much appreciated likes, it would be cool to get a comment from someone who appreciates art. Unfortunately, due to the fact, as everyone is secretly aware, though hides it in terror, no one really knows a damn thing, I had to imagine in my own mind just such a comment.

Hey, Pres

Cool drawing

Your pal,

Chad Ulmer

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He’s got Abraham Lincoln eyes

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Once again our favorite solitudinarian sends us sweet words

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lincoln mask

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Would you care for a drink?

she called from the kitchen

as I stood stock still

unable to speak

caught in the hollow stare

of the Lincoln mask

upon her bookshelf

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poet

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