The Illimitable Ocean of Inexplicability

Month: September, 2014

How many times must I tell you?

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“There’s no telling”

– The President and Founder

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It’s been over a day since I lasted posted a drawing of the ladder leaning against what can best be described as a box, but could very well be something else all together, though, if you remember, a while back, I mentioned that my Grandfather was the first man to drive a Cadillac into a box full of clowns.

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Who’s the boss?

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“I once had a guy bet me I couldn’t do something, and so, I did it, and he was really surprised that I did the thing he didn’t think I’d do”

– The President and Founder

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That’s right, you’re not seeing things, it’s a drawing of a ladder balanced precariously atop a chair, and, as if that wasn’t enough, the chair has wheels. Yeah, I drew it with only a pencil and a straight edge, because you know how I am about straight edges. Why did I draw it? Well, without getting too into the details, earlier today this guy left a comment on one of my posts saying how I would never be able to draw a ladder balanced on the back of a chair, and how I wasn’t a real artist and how I should be arrested, and then he went off about how his Grandfather traveled all across Europe after the war entertaining children with only a ladder and a chair, and was secretly buried in Westminster Abbey. Anyway, I don’t know if that’s true or not, but if it is, it sounds kinda cool. I wish I had met his Grandfather.

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What they do?

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Musical interlude

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We for He

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“He would be me”

– The President and Founder

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A Message

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What’s “We for He”? It’s a great opportunity for you to publicly support the President and Founder (the He of We for He) by making a post on your web site and having it link to the Institute’s web site. That’s it. Just make a post called “We for He” and mention how fabulous you think The President and Founder is. Easy, right? Plus, as a bonus, if you say “We for He” fast enough it sounds like “We free” which is a great thing to be, isn’t it?

Thanks for your support

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New thoughts on the “Ladder Incident”

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“You’re not the boss of me”

– The President and Founder

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For those of you unaware, who are probably asleep in cave out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by an infinity of nothingness,  just yesterday I was subjected to unrelenting harassment for supposedly not drawing a ladder properly. Now, while I did come out with a post admitting to my sometimes half-assed observational skills when it comes to drawing ladders from life I now stand up and defiantly declare my right to draw a ladder however the hell I want!

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My apologies

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“Nobody’s perfect, but you’re the closest we’ve come as a species so far”

– The President and Founder’s Mother

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More than a few of you remember, and at least half were disgusted by my answer to a comment left recently on my post titled “Now’s your chance”. If you don’t remember, and therefore were not disgusted you can be so now by reading the interchange below.

Peter Schreiner : “I’m not sure, but shouldn’t there be a rung near the top of the ladder?”

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illimitableoceanofinexplicability: “That’s a good point. It would seem to make for a safer ladder, however, in the ‘world’ I am representing in this drawing the inhabitants (possibly some humanoid form, but not necessarily ‘human’) like to live dangerously.

Thank you for the comment. Well done

– The President and Founder”

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I’m sorry, but what kind of bullshit was that answer I gave? Yes, I do make mention of his suggestion that there should be a rung at the top of the ladder, but then immediately go off on some nonsense about a ‘world’, and ‘inhabitants’ which honestly not only sounds foolish, but perhaps even indicates that the writer suffers from a mental illness.

Whatever the case being, I, thinking myself quite clever, headed out to my laboratory (that’s la-bor-a-tory not labruhtory) and, on the way there did notice the ladder which originally served as the model for the ladder presented in the drawing from the post “Now’s your chance” as well as any other drawings of the ladder you may have come across on my site while scouring it for answers to your questions.

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Well, looky there. A rung almost at the very tippy top of the ladder which inspired the ladder of my drawings. I say ‘inspired’ really as an excuse for my obviously piss poor observational skills. No wonder I wasn’t getting the response I thought I should get from those drawings. I was drawing it wrong. Pathetic. But, I now swear to change my ways, and will no longer portray the ladder as inaccurately as I have in the past. In order that I may do so I have made the drawing below to serve as a reminder. It sits on my drawing table at this very moment, a guard on the front line fighting against my future mistakes.

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My name isn’t actually Ronald

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Now’s your chance

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In order to avoid having “certain things” being said about me as an artist I now present some of my art for you to critique at will.

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Examples of comments you could make:

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“Whoa, that’s cool”

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“Like your drawings, man”

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“This shit sucks”

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“There is something calming in your line work. Impressive”

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This reminds me of my friend who died in a tractor accident”

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These are just a few examples, there really is no limit to what you could say. So, go ahead and join in the conversation, leave a comment, you can do it, I showed you how.

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You know I read it in a magazine

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“Pssst! Hey, buddy, you got any current events?”

– The President and Founder

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A metaphorical illustration of me escaping from the dark tunnel of current events. Sadly, you can see someone entering as I leave. Turn back, Mister, turn back!

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Current events, they’re happening all around us every minute of the day. Maybe, like me, you at one time thought you’d have a look at some of the current events people were on about, just a quick peek to keep abreast of what was going on. Right? Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of you are up to your necks in them right now. Filling your heads with all sorts of nonsense about who did what and when not to mention where which is most likely in a place you’ll never go or a parking lot in Ohio somewhere, and then repeating it all to some unsuspecting co-worker or a guy on the bus. I understand, I’ve been there. Strung out, needing more, up late, staring at the screen, eyes red and itching like they’re filled with sand, just fucking awful.

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Just tellin’ you like it is

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“You scare me like a child’s glove found on a downtown sidewalk in summer”

– The President and Founder

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