The Illimitable Ocean of Inexplicability

Month: September, 2014

Oh, won’t I?

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never

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An inspirational poster quite similar to the one you see above hung in the rumpus room of my family’s home for as long as I can remember, and, though I never asked my parents what it was referring to exactly, whenever we’d all be in the presence of the poster I would say to either my Mother or Father “You’ll never get away with this”, to which they would reply “Oh, won’t I”? and then all of us would just laugh and laugh and laugh.

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You can’t stop me

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I was going to call this ‘They can’t stop you’ for the obvious reasons, but then realized I don’t know who ‘they’ or ‘you’ are, and so, should probably not make any assumptions. However, if ‘they’ do make attempts to stop ‘you’, know that ‘I’ am on your side, and only hope for the best for ‘you’. Unless, of course, ‘you’ are involved in illegal or immoral activities, and then ‘I’ will not only contact the authorities, but will also work with them to see that ‘you’ are prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

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There must be something that has to be done

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Don’t you think? It seems likely to me. What could it be? Do you know? Wait! Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know

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Some of you know what others only suspected couldn’t be kept secret for long

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What can you do?
Lots, really. Tons, as we used to say. I’m sure there is some numerical limit to it in reality, but that number is no doubt so large as to be completely meaningless to us what with our very narrow understanding of the broader universe, and more specifically your absolutely annoying habit of disagreeing with me.

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IMG_0093

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IMG_0092

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I got to thinking

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IMG_0080Please don’t fill up my comments asking what’s in the pyrex, it’s chickpeas.

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Sunday is a good day for thinking. Not because it’s my day off, it isn’t, though it is traditionally thought of (among most people in the United States) as the day the ‘Big Guy’ rested, and therefore is a good day for you to take off with the caveat that you spend some of that day telling the ‘Man upstairs’ how thankful you are. I get this, I do, though I don’t do any thanking, seems uncool somehow, not to mention the fact that I never really have a day off as I am a part of the Leisure Class who, as you are probably painfully aware, gets to live better than most people without ever having to do a ‘lick of work’. Anyway, I’ve completely veered off topic, so, back to it now. You see, I was looking in the refrigerator only moments ago, and was presented with basically the same image you can see above, and upon seeing what you see above I thought to myself “I wonder if anyone will eat that corn, it looks nasty”.

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How I feel about the way I felt

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Before going any further I just wanted to share with you an idea I had. Now, let me just say my knowledge of television programs has been lacking since Colt Seavers caught his last bad guy, and so, there is a good chance that this idea of mine has already been on television. Anyway, the idea is, well, you know how the President of these United States is always zooming around in his helicopter, well, I was thinking it would be cool if there was a show about the pilot of the helicopter and the President (without the public knowing of course) solving crimes/fighting criminals, and how it drove the first lady crazy, and there was also a general who didn’t like it, and was always saying in every episode “Mr. President, I must advise against you doing this”and the President always responding with some phrase that meant “Fuck off, asshole”,but wasn’t actually the words “Fuck off, asshole”, and maybe there would be a woman secret service agent who knew karate who helped the President and the pilot catch bad guys, and who lost her husband in the war and who had a child that was cute, and maybe the show could be called The President and The Pilot. I don’t know, it’s just a rough idea I came up with while washing the dishes.

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IMG_0183Hi, good boy

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OK. The real reason for this post.

I was scrolling through my reader the other day and happened to notice quite a few posts of the sort that are as follows

Another day another dollar dinner

I can’t believe I was able to eat dinner, but I did.

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I’m sure you’ve seen these, and perhaps, like me, have found them amusing, and in some way found a common ground with the person who posted it, oh, forget it I can’t remember where this was all going.

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कार्य शुरू

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How to say one thing and do another easily

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Keep your life moving forward while forcing others to turn around

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So many of you out there have been left wondering while a small percentage went about there business unconcerned. Daily it seems there is no way to know for sure, though a handful have tried only to be later accused of various offenses unknown to all but a few until the situation presented itself. This, inexplicably, has been cast in a light unflattering to a good deal of those who originally started the project that lead to what has been claimed to have happened.

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If you are interested

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“I dare say you are full of apples, my friend, quite full of apples”

– The President and Founder

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wheelbarrow

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After divining certain truths

from the relationships of fallen apples

they are raked and shoveled

into a wheelbarrow

then dumped along the tree line

where no one ever goes

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poet

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.For those truly interested

https://illimitableoceanofinexplicability.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/the-interpretation-of-the-relationships-between-fallen-apples-for-the-purpose-of-divining-certain-truths-4/

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Well enough alone

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“There are those who deny the chair has wheels”

– The President and Founder

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the ladder

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Intolerable!

he screams from the stage

colored light and winter’s chill

a thousand mouths breathing out a cover

for those in thrall to make-believe

and the ancient rites of nonsense

wrapped loosely in what you’re always hearing

from the flat ghosts

illuminating the darkness

like Jack said he saw

in quiet neighborhoods

before most of you were born

to the ladder and the chair

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poet

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