mission accomplished

by illimitableoceanofinexplicability

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aisle5

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I successfully completed my super market sojourn, and have put away all items purchased in their proper place. Unfortunately, I have some bad news. The thing I mentioned earlier is not quite ready. However, in the mean time settle in with me for a moment and take part in a thought experiment I conducted at 24 Hour Savings just a short while ago.

So, most of you out there are aware of the self check-out areas available in most grocery stores now, and a good deal of you are aware of the Son of God, The Lord and Savior (Saviour if you’re British), Jesus Christ, or Jesus the Christ (but that may be a Mormon thing, and well, you know, anyway), and if you are acquainted at all with the latter (Jesus) then you might also remember how a few years back there was a lot of folks going around asking people, “What would Jesus Do?”, and, to be honest with you, regretting it almost immediately upon the question leaving their lips. Nevertheless, that is exactly what I did while at 24 Hour Savings this morning. I asked, if Jesus was here and the lines with cashiers were really long, but the lines at the self check-outs were short, what would he do?

The answer to what Jesus would do in the situation I describe above is of course ultimately unknowable to us (until some time in the future when, if the chance presents itself, and we remember, which seems unlikely due to being in the presence of God has a tendency to shake one up a bit, we could ask Jesus himself what he would have done), however, now, in this broken world, if one is at all familiar with Matthew 21:12-13 it is possible to extrapolate believable scenarios in which Jesus reacts to the sight of the self check-outs in the temple that is 24 Hour Savings. Now, being that some folks don’t want you making up ‘shit’, as they say, about Jesus, I am not going to go into the details of what I imagined him doing, except to say he was not fucking happy about that bullshit, and if you were to think about those demonic automatons stealing people’s jobs, and making you do work and pay for the over priced garbage they’re selling you on top of it then you’d totally help Jesus throw them out on their asses.

OK. Stick around the thing I told you about is near completion. I’m so excited!

Down with the robots!

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