The Best Ever

by illimitableoceanofinexplicability

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Seal of Approval

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Are you the Best Ever?

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Maybe, but I’ll be the judge of that when it comes to whether or not you receive what should be the most coveted award in all of bloggingland¹,

The Institute Seal of Approval

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I know, I know, believe you me, I know. I am well aware that the number of awards available to be won is unbelievably large (they’d sell a dime for a dozen), and, that you, busy making your blog the best it can be (not necessarily the Best Ever (I haven’t decided that yet)) cannot be bothered with finding out about them all. And, it is no secret that the majority (99.9%) of blogging awards are bunkum.(though you wouldn’t know it from the way some out there (and I don’t mean you, of course) go on about this or that award they just received to which we respond, if at all, with something such as “Congratulations, you really deserve it” followed by the cloying “blessings” just in case they might be catching on to the fact that we not only can barely stand the sight of them and their stupid blog, but would, if circumstances allowed, choke the life out of them).

So, let me do you the great favor of providing this little tidbit of information:

The Institute Seal of Approval is all that matters.

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Now, I know you’re thinking

“How do I get me one of those there Institute Seals of Approval”?*

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And

I’m telling you

In order to even be considered you must enter the running by leaving in the comment section of this post the words “I am the Best Ever”. It is desperately important that you capitalize both ‘Best’ and ‘Ever’ in your comment, failure to do so will result in immediate disqualification. It is also possible (but why you would is beyond me) for you to enter someone else by leaving the comment “The sites name you wish to nominate” followed by” is the Best Ever”. One entry per person, please. Mucking up the comments section with the same name over and over again will only make me unhappy, and, you know what, if I am unhappy with you then you are most definitely not the “Best Ever”, and, if you truly wish to be the best ever you will also need leave the longest, ramblingest comment you can come up with about an incident from your childhood that has left a horrible scar upon your psyche, and in turn caused you to be terrible to people for no reason, which will have the result of making me become just a little sad, but, I warn you, not so sad that it ruins the rest of my day.

Good luck to you all

The President and Founder

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If, unbelievably, and I cannot even imagine this happening, there are no entries for The Institute Seal of Approval I will, and you can take this to the bank, for a period of  30 days, starting on the Monday following this posting, not “Like” anyone’s posts no matter what it is, or who they are!

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¹ And, no, I don’t mean that crap ass site on wordpress. I mean all of the internet…and beyond.

* It is very possible that even if a million comments are received that no one will be awarded The Institute’s Seal of Approval, and anyway, if anyone is it doesn’t mean a damn thing to anyone, not even me, and I’m the one who came up with this whole thing. In other words, enter at your own risk, the dangers, for certain, are great, but how else will you win the glory you so richly deserve, and that will, without a doubt, be of great use in reminding people that you are, and always will be, the Best Ever.

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