You remember don’t you? It was when I was known as “Conceitedly Assertive and Dogmatic Guy”

by illimitableoceanofinexplicability

 

 

 

moremonstersWhat I must be reminded of whenever leaving the highly secure and isolated grounds of The Institute

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Just a moment ago while I painted my backdoor with a third and final coat of chalkboard paint (in order that I may remind myself of things I must never forget upon exiting my home) I allowed my mind to travel freely back to a time not so long ago when within the no small confines of a certain social media network I was known, loved, celebrated and scorned by individuals from all walks of life living in a variety of far flung locales all across this big blue marble we call Earth. At that time I went by the handle ‘Conceitedly Assertive and Dogmatic Guy’, and, believe you me, it wasn’t just some honorary title, it was, as much as a handful of words can be, a complete a description of me as you’re ever likely to get. Boy, there were times I’d just let it rip. There was no stopping me. It would not, in the least, have surprised me if the speed of my typing fingers combined with the sting of every word that was formed did cause my computer to burst into a ball of flame which would grow larger and larger engulfing everything in sight until all that was left of this spinning rock (we call Earth) was a charred unrecognizable husk floating in the blackness of the void looked down upon by a inconsolably weeping supreme being, the creator of all there is, and all there ever was or will be, my archenemy, the one you insignificant mortals call “God”. Of course this never actually happened, but I’m almost positive it could have. I have a few ideas about a ritual that could be performed in which the sound of the keys on the keyboard in conjunction with the pattern of the keys hit might bring about what the Norse called “Ragnarok”, but I have a few things I’d like to do (e.g. learn a foreign language, travel to Paris in the spring time, stop my Father from wearing puffy white sneakers, drive a Lamborghini at high speeds through the streets of L.A. while being pursued by the police)  before trying it, you know, in case it really works.

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