What would have transpired had the Hotel Detective not been “outta sight”?

by illimitableoceanofinexplicability

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I can only imagine, while you may know from personal experience, what events would have, by the Detective’s presence, been set in motion, and also, what events would have never happened

However

The answer I would provide if pressed, my answer as usual, the answer I, The President and Founder, alone am allowed to utter aloud, is

“There’s no telling”.

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 Regardless of our having no answers, not any that make a difference at least, there comes a time when you really can no longer speak like a child, you can’t think like a child either, and you really ought not reason like a child (though I am sure we can all agree there are times when this is quite tempting), instead, you need to behave like a man, or if you’re a woman, then, well, you know. The reason I mention this is because for a while I have been sporadically posting a cartoon called “Canyon Pete and Billy” wherein no matter the situation presented the last panel contains the same profane curse every single time. I admit I found this hilarious, so much so, that sometimes, even while performing Ops at a local Wal-Mart with my Covert Operation Club, I would bust out laughing just thinking about it. This, needless to say, infuriated my teammates and resulted almost always in our “termination” from play.  However, as unpleasant as that could be, it was not what got me thinking that maybe the Canyon Pete and Billy cartoons were childish. What did, not only get me thinking, but also made up my mind about the “Canyon Pete and Billy Question” once and for all was an interaction I had with a young child who, having become separated from his family at the area’s poorly run and very dangerous amusement park, somehow, inexplicably, found his way onto the freeway where gigantic semi trucks (like monstrous sulfur breathing dragons of old) flew past him at breakneck speeds, and the other drivers in their vans, trucks, sedans and what have you only became annoyed by his presence there, honking their horns at him (like screeching birds (disgusting in smell, and, if that were not enough, being unpleasantly soiled as well) risen from some redolent abyss (filled with a million rotting corpses) in search of the tender flesh of human children), until (thinking “something should be done about this”) heroically I pulled my Lincoln Town Car (the most commonly used limousine and chauffeured car in the United States and Canada) over to the side of the road and then, after turning my hazard lights on to warn passing motorists, rolled the window of my automobile down just enough to be sure the boy could hear me, but not so much to allow in a deadly amount of the poisonous gasses, created by all those fossil based fuel engines, (yelling to be heard over the din) asked the small child, his face streaked black and his shirt (advertising a major brand I now cannot recall) torn and stained, if he needed my assistance, and he, looking directly in my eyes, responded, “Go fuck yourself”.

In just a matter of hours after leaving the child there on the freeway, and stopping at a Plaid Pantry for a salty snack along with a cold sugary beverage (and as always being delayed by the endless yabbering of the very large store clerk with a dragon tattoo on his forearm who sells his hair for wigs), I vowed to be done with the childish Canyon Pete and Billy and immediately (and without blinking an eye) replace them with a cartoon of a different order, a cartoon with adult themes, a cartoon addressing issues relevant to things that people who are not children would want to have things relevant to, and any of the other stuff  grown ups facing the challenges of being grown ups would possibly be interested in, and that is, I believe, exactly what I accomplished.

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AND NOW

PLEASE, WELCOME

THESE ALL NEW

ADVENTURES

SURE TO

BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE

AND

CREATE MEMORIES

TO LAST A LIFETIME

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DO NOT FRET

Canyon Pete and Billy aren’t really gone. You know there’s no stopping them! My getting rid of them was simply a a dramatic device used to promote “The Floating Head and Wilson” brand.

IN CASE YOU WERE UNAWARE

The lyrics in the above “premier cartoon” are from the classic rock hit by Grand Funk Railroad

it is called

“We’re an American Band”

OH, YEAH, AND BY THE WAY

I own every mother@#*%!! right to the above and every other God#@%&! thing that I ever put on this  bull#%$^&! site, so watch your &#$%!, got it?

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